Spaces in my Heart

I feel it is now or never!!

I feel if it doesn’t work now, then I might just be left standing here,

I was born to fight for everything I want, but not so sure of losing myself in the process,

Perhaps I could become a different person after this fight, Perhaps I might find myself.

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Dilemma of Friendship

Friends,

I still don’t get the concept of friendship and why it remains very difficult to fully grasp. One minute, it feels like you have known someone for an eternity, and in the next minute, it breaks your heart to realize that you haven’t really met that soul.

The thought of how one turn of event could change everything you believed you knew about someone is very scary, and I begin to wonder if by one word or one act, a trust or companionship is destroyed, why then do we expose our hearts so terribly wide for such disaster? Or are we not meant to freely enjoy the very thing we say we have and like without fear?

Sometimes, mornings and nights, I sit on my bed, romancing the thoughts of all the moments with friends I say I have acquired through the years. Laughing so uncontrollably at the memories that tickles my fleshy heart. Most times I feel the joys, the enjoyable pains, and the avoidable agonies I had accumulated and somehow stored as I aged. Most times I mutter a silent prayer, hoping, no wishing I don’t wake up to reality. And the reality is not the heaviness of heart when my eyes are open to the fact that I am all alone in my room, occupying a small corner of the world, but the sharp pains across the chest when I realize that time and life has happened to everyone.

Tell me, does this mean we are somehow ill-fated to have people invade our feeble lives, creating a spark or a deep well of happiness from a huge catalogs of shared moments, and then take a walk out as we try so frantically hard to hold it all together? Or are we so powerless to resist the urge of immersing ourselves in the lake of emotions, unsure of what sea creatures swim underneath, and when the day is over, for whatever reason, the very thing we thought was a harmless feeling turns out to be a flesh eating monster with jaws and claws?

Or maybe something is fundamentally wrong with our lives, my life.

I will be back….. or not.

Be in Charge of yourself

Some people say the world is a big place full of endless opportunities and breathe-taking adventures, only waiting to be explored by hearts hungry for excitement. Some people say the world is a small place, held closely bound by unlikely events, making it almost uncertain for you to know who you may meet just at around the next corner, while some think the world is just a creation of our imaginations, and these imaginations are sometimes sweet escape routes from harsh realities. I think I pretty much fall into this category.

Call me naïve or inexperienced, I still want to believe that the best way to live the kind of life you want is by creating the kind of world you have always imagined. Everything is possible from the moment you believe with your heart that what you have imagined in your head can be achieved no matter the harsh situation before your very eyes. Yes, looks can be deceiving, but the conviction that rests firmly at the bottom of your heart will take you places way beyond your initial imagination. The question is, are you ready to be responsible?

What If Words Were Limited?

This poem was written by an amazing lady who I come to like. It says so much of exactly what is happening around us.

Life Goal Paradox

Have you ever had something so good and really exciting that made you want to jump out of your skin and scream to the high heavens, but at the same time it was a catalyst and a fine important recipe for disaster? Perhaps, maybe not all things in life may claim to have both the good, the bad and the ugly qualities at the same time, and very few things can boast of having these devastating qualities in their ranks, but if there is anything so amazing and scary when deep considerations are put into the matter and when the light is shone from another perspective, it is the paradoxical effects of having to set a goal for yourself in life.

My thoughts in 10 minutes – Day 5

Is 10 minutes enough for me to pen down the myriads of raging thoughts that constantly sends my brain into overdrive? Is 10 minutes enough for me to tell a story, not just any story but my story just for one person to know and be inspired? Or will this just be another failed attempt to let the world know what I feel it needs to know? Well, I am here to find out.

Truthfully, when I began the daily routine of writing at least 10 minutes every day, I had no plan to follow, no direction mapped out or the knowledge of the end of this journey; all I had was the excitement of the endless possibilities I was ready to explore with whosoever will have the time to sail with me. I must confess that excitement died on the 3 day of my adventure.

Lost In A Dreams

What is real? I asked,

What is not? I demanded to know.

What is the truth?

Can you describe a lie?

What we see, what we feel,

What we hold, and those we don’t,

What we know, and who we are,

May all be nothing compared to what it is.