The night was cold and silent as the clock slowly crawled to twenty three. The heavens laid bare without its tiny little sparkles hanging around it and no sooner was the corner of my street invaded by the notorious band of silence.
As loud as it could sound, I heard clearly the footsteps of nothing and the pounding of my heart competed with every stride it took. A stream of hot sweat ran freely down the nape of my neck and in a short while, maybe too long, I realized what I feared, I was alone. The onslaught of the cold wind left my once guarded mind susceptible to creepy thoughts and not too long did my scary imaginations begin to take form. To think she would stay forever was a false truth and happily ever after is a false hope.
The night seemed longer than normal as the time crawled slowly. My heart ached badly and I knew, I could never find the words to describe the moment. Watching her leave was as destructive as the edge of a broken glass and the silence that followed was deeply overwhelming.
I gasped for air as my mind flooded my being with begging questions. How did I get it wrong? Where did I miss it? At what point did I go off the path? And why does it cut through so deep? My eyes, clustered with hot tears, stared blankly into the dark as I was more concerned with the pains of my broken heart than I was about losing her.
Perhaps I gave up so much and allowed so many, or maybe I trusted a little more than I should. I should have known, despite all those great times and unforgettable moments, nothing stays forever. For some, the smell of their cologne could last longer than their presence.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the idea of love and all that it holds. I believe in it magical effects and all that it binds, but to live with the idea that it will forever be here and there is a false imprisonment.
Everyone and everything will go at some point, just no matter how important we esteemed them to be and the terrible mistake is in making them the screw that fitly holds us together.
This have I learnt, hold tenaciously to nothing, but be your own happiness. For after everyone is gone, you alone will still be here.
It took me weeks to recognize myself and when I finally did, I realized that the moment she breathed her last was the moment she had set me free from the false imprisonment of an illusion. Love is perfect, for as long as it is there, but make no mistake to think that ‘forever’ is a word associated with love.
Everything has a lifespan and the sooner we understand this, the more conscious we become, knowing that nothing is permanent except God who gave us life.
She died in my arms that night, I will forever remember, but still in that same night, she gave me my freedom.
it’s a beautiful world.