Often times I would remember how I do get lost with the feeling of having no idea, whatsoever, on what to do with my life. It was like in one minute, I had this catalog of ideas bursting through, like waves after waves, they come crashing in on my feeble mind, and in the next minute, I am left empty, stranded, staring at my mirror, wondering what exactly my life was made for. Time and time again, I would come to ask myself, “Who are you”? And Time and time again, I would come up short with an answer. In all those moments, one thing that always amuse me was that people around me, and a few folks afar, tend to believe that they could answer that question for me, and that made me wonder if there were people out there in the world who knew me better than I knew myself. But there is just one problem with having those kind of individuals around, they expected every decision and action I took should mirror the statue they had built for me, and in all those time, I felt like I was been suffocated. All I wanted was to have a very simple life, be whatever I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to do, but I had the constant idea that either I didn’t know what I wanted or that people wouldn’t see what I saw, and I needed it to change.
My biggest problem became not what I wanted, but how to start, where to start and when to start. I spent so much time scolding myself for being so wasteful all those years, and then going on to make a list of my limitations and inabilities. I was stuck between going forward and remaining in my despair, and the not so funny thing about it was that I did not know. I knew wanted a better a life, something different from the norm, but my issue was that, I was probably scared of moving forward. If this was a Test I had to make up my mind.
If there is anything life has taught me, it is to know that, “I have only Now to act”. Time wasn’t going to give me time to prepare myself:I had to act in the moment, and as confused as I was about my life, i knew there weren’t better opportunities to act than immediately. I had to draw a plan.
Really, it doesn’t matter what point you are, or how old you are, non of those matter at all, all that matters is you realizing you need a change in your journey. Every life is a story of a journey, and if you are willing to make yours the bestselling, then you must decide the course of your journey yourself. And yes, if it ever comes down to asking, “Where do I start?” I’d say, start here and start now.