The Sun was quite honest the other day, so it wasn’t a big surprise that the room temperature was a bit warmer than usual, and to top it all, the sea of voices that flowed all around did not help its cause. I had stepped into the crowded room, feeling a bit nervous about being surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces, but as much as I hated it, I found the urge to stay, and if I was staying, I thought, I do probably get myself lost in the myriads of strange faces. Unlike most people, I find solace in my solitude, even though close friends have begged me to explore and connect more often with people, I just find it more relaxing to observe from a distance; and here I was, not too comfortable with my surrounding, but for some other reason, I decided to stay in the midst of the crowded room, remaining anonymous, I sat all to myself.
If there is any question I am afraid of being asked, is the one a young man asked me, probably because he saw how I refrained from socializing with people around.
“Excuse me, who are you?” the young man asked, as his husky voice distorted my thoughts.
Quite simple as it sounds, I still find the answer to the question quite out of my reach. I am pretty sure he saw the message on my face as I could tell how confused he was as he tried reading my face for answers.
I stared blankly for a few seconds before ridiculously asking him, “Who am I?”
Quite embarrassing that I should ask another to reveal my identity, but it was nothing compared to the air of confusion that drowsed the young man.
Quickly, I apologized, hoping to drown the tensed atmosphere, I told him my name and the purpose of my presence in the room.
He left after getting the feeling that his curiosity had been satisfied well enough, leaving me to myself, as I gathered the remaining dignity and sanity I had left. The question came back to me: Who are you?
Too many times, we really on people to tell us who we are, who we are meant to be, and most often, we seek the approval of people’s opinions before we pursue an identity for ourselves. We have this notion that in order to be successful, we must have this personality that must accept and accommodate everyone and what they can relate to, but what we don’t really know is that, we humans can be confused and confusing.
Relying on someone to reveal ourselves is as tedious as asking someone to give you a name. The person is confused with what to call you, because he or she don’t really know what you are made of, so they call you something that is more acceptable to them than it clearly defines you. They ask you take on the image that suits their own ideals, not probably because it may fit you, but because they want it. And most times, people want you to become something they are not, just to fill the emptiness or vacuum in their lives.
Perhaps we don’t even wait for anyone to define us, instead, we go ahead to forge our own identity from our struggles and situations, walking around with scars of the battles we fought yesterdays, though we be victorious, yet our personality have been altered.
Maybe it is a good thing for some people, shaping their lives as a result of the experiences of yesterday’s battle, or becoming a new person because of a lesson learned from an encounter, but as me, I strongly belong to the school of thought that I am whatever I decide to be, and my experiences are just added knowledge. There is a difference.
Now, when we are affected by what we go through, or when we change to conform to situation around, that is us taking charge of the situation that affects us, being controlled by the struggle that makes us, or managing the encounter to produce a positive end, Quite commendable.
But when we are who we are, not because our struggles made us, or our troubles gave us our identity, but in the midst of the chaos and noise, we let who we are be on display, then, this is us creating the situation that affects us. Rather than try to control the situation, why not create them. Why struggle to be kings when we can be a God.
Never allow your struggles become your identity.
But this cannot happen if we don’t look to ourselves for the answers to our own questions.
While there will be many talks flying around, it is your job to judge what they say, and your duty to choose who you will be. He who looks inside awakens.
And maybe you don’t know how to identify your identity, probably because of how you have so safe guarded yourself that you have placed restrictions on what spills out, my advice is, it is okay to break a little, at least, you will know your strengths.
So when faced with the question, Who Are You? Remember to look inward for answers not around.